Virginia Beach, Virginia – After getting lost on their journey to Burning Man, a group of hippy werewolves from Orlando decided to set up their own counter-culture event in Virginia Beach on Saturday.
Burning Man is an annual counter-culture art festival in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada, spanning from the last week in August through Labor Day. The small group of alternative-lifestyle werewolves set out for the festival from Florida two weeks ago, in a convoy of VW of minivans which got lost somewhere around Charleston, according to one lycanthrope involved.
“Everyone knows that werewolves have absolutely zero sense of direction,” the lycanthrope told WereWatchers, on condition of anonymity, given that they told their employer they were going on a three-week intensive Bible retreat.
“Combine that with a certain werewolf in the first van named Harold who refuses to ask for directions, and here were are in Virginia Beach. Perfectly nice place. But not the friggin’ alternative art festival in the desert that we were all planning to go to.”
Realizing that they would not make it to the far reaches of the Nevada desert in time to see the famous giant statue of “the man” burn on Saturday night, the werewolves decided to take matters into their own hands.
One Man’s Trash…
“Virginia Beach is a more eclectic place than people realize, home to Pharrell Williams, Pat Robertson, and the Edgar Casey Psychic Center. So we’re thinking, hey, let’s add even more spice to the Brunswick Stew and create our own festival,” explained another werewolf in the group, in charge of pyrotechnics.
“And that’s how Burning Wolf 2015 was born.”
The werewolves chose the city’s top recreational area for their inaugural event, a man-made hill built in the early 1970’s using garbage on top of a landfill. The city let the public vote on the name, which resulted in it being christened Mount Trashmore.
“Okay, not exactly a highpoint for democracy,” explained one local historian. “But at least we got rid of all that garbage.”
Werewolves hastily constructed a giant wooden statue of a werewolf and carried it to the top of Mt. Trashmore late Saturday night, where they lit it on fire.
“The locals were very excited,” one werewolf told us. Leaving out the part that those excited locals were firefighters who rushed to the scene to put out the wolf.”
“Perhaps we’ll get a permit next year.”