Werewolf Hackers Fill Apple CEO Tim Cook’s iPhone With Lycan Polka Music

Cupertino, California – Werewolf computer hackers have reportedly struck at the heart of Apple country with an ironic prank involving Apple CEO Tim Cook’s iPhone. (Listen to sample below.)

With last week’s launch of the iPhone 6, Apple began a promotion that added U2’s new album Songs of Innocence into 500 million unknowing iPhone users’ smartphones. For some, “unknowing” meant not actually knowing who U2 is. Though for many, like rapper Tyler the Creator, they knew or were a fan of U2, but they just found the marketing giveaway creepy and invasive.

WereWatchers Exclusive:  “Lycans Likin’ Polka”

(one of alleged downloaded tracks)


Werewolves Strike Back, With Polka

“Is Apple using the NSA as their ad agency now?” asked one disgruntled lycan iPhone owner.WereWatchers - News - Hackers iPhone Screenshot - darker

“Lycanthropes were already seething from news of the delay of the werewolf-friendly iPhone 6W. And as our readers know, werewolves are fanatics about what music they listen to during a full moon prowl. So messing with a lycan’s music playlist is sacrilege.”

And apparently, a splinter group from Silicon Valley’s Lycans In Tech Meetup calling themselves simply “W2” decided to take action.

As an Apple insider described to WereWatchers, on Monday morning, Mssr. Cook found “over 100 Lycan Polka music tracks” which had been surreptitiously downloaded to his iPhone by the hackers. In addition, the hackers added an extremely sarcastic notification that took a UX-best-practices-defying five swipes to remove.

Reaction in the were-community has been overwhelmingly positive.

“This will teach Apple to mess with werewolves. If anything can lay waste to the human ear, it is werewolves trying to sing. And lycan polka music…Dude, that’s the nuclear option for the nuclear option,” commented an indignant lycan iPhone owner who had stabbed his claw through his smartphone in a desperate effort to delete the unwanted album.

Ironically, when asked whether he had  pre-ordered the iPhone 6, he responded. “Hell, no.”

Then, after a pause, he added: “I got the iPhone 6 Plus. Duh.”


Where The Streets Have No Names…And All iPhones Have Lycan Polka Music

The story took a strange turn on Tuesday morning, however.

Though Apple had no official comment about the incident, there were several employees who reported seeing Cook in meetings “listening to something on his iPhone with great interest” and tapping his foot in a rhythm indicative of Polka.

Come next September, we may all find werewolf polka on our iPhone…