New York, New York – The stereotype of werewolves being unappreciative of life’s finer things can be written off with last week’s theft of a rare pen by a Manhattan lycanthrope.
Pen collector Melvin Makurayama, a business man from St. Paul, was in town for the Rothfield-Mellon Boutique Writing Instrument Auction, an invitation-only event held every year at an undisclosed location in Midtown Manhattan. The star attraction of this year’s auction was the one-of-a-kind MontNoir MeisterTinteKlinge, for which the pen-passionate Makurayama had publicly laid his claim.
Mssr. Makurayama is renowned for his massive collection of European fine writing instruments as well as his fanatical approach to collecting, having once body checked another collector who bid on a pen he wanted at an auction in Geneva.
“The MontNoir MeisterTinteKlinge is the holy grail for collectors of fine writing instruments,” a devastated Makurayama explained to WereWatchers in an exclusive interview. “MontNoir made only one of these pens back in 1912 and then threw away all the designs at the insistence of the buyer. So of course, when I heard it was going up for auction, adding it to my collection became my raison d’être, if you will.”
The businessman even hired a photographer to document what he thought would be a triumphant journey to the Big Apple to claim the pen he had dreamed of his entire life. Little did he know how different a story the photos would tell.
“I was born and raised in St. Paul, Minnesota. It’s safe as Hell and we don’t take any bullshit from criminals, especially lycanthropes. I thought New York had gotten its act together. How was I to do know that the new mayor was letting werewolves do whatever the Hell they want, even snatching treasures like the MontNoir MeisterTinteKlinge
The auction was held on Tuesday afternoon, and after a brief bidding war between Makurayama and an anonymous buyer from Brazil, the Minnesotan came out on top. He paid an undisclosed sum for the pen, which one attendee described as “jaw-dropping.”
“I had been so focused on the pen that I had no idea how much media attention the auction got. Then as I was walking through Times Square, one of those weirdos dressed in a SpongeBob costume started chasing me, asking to ‘borrow my fancy pants pen.’ So I headed straight back to the hotel to lock it up in my safe. I had assumed my MeisterTinteKlinge would be safe. That was a mistake, for sure.”
Makurayama went out with a few fellow pen collectors to celebrate. He tells us he had been gone only a couple of hours when he got back to discover the safe open and his prized writing instrument taken from its case.
“Unbelievable that he would steal one of the world’s rarest pens and not even take the goddamn case. Where the Hell could a werewolf stash a pen for Christ’s sake? I shudder to think,” Makurayama told us.
We then asked him about an especially twisted element of the crime – the ironic message left by the thief.
After a long pause, Makurayama shared the story:
“If stealing my pen wasn’t a kick in the nuts enough, he decided to use the pen to scrawl a demented message on a hotel notepad. Only funny to some sick, sardonic New York werewolf,” he told us bitterly. “No offense, but werewolves are complete dicks in my book.”
Police report that security cameras recorded a large male werewolf, early 40’s, leaving the hotel through a side entrance, leaving notes on guest room doors. The NYPD spokeswoman would not give specifics, but described the notes as having “a similar theme” to the one left in the victim’s room.
When asked if 2014 had seen a spike in werewolf crime, the spokeswoman was evasive, only willing to say, “Staten Island has not seen any increase in werewolf crime. In January or February. To my knowledge.”
Makurayama v. de Blasio
“It was like having a loved one snatched from you,” Makurayama told the New York Post. “Okay, in general you wouldn’t have your loved one stored in a safe, but you get my point. Anyway, it’s all because of Bill de Blasio that my MeisterTinteKlinge was taken from me.”
Makurayama was referring to growing criticism of the newly elected New York City Mayor who has placed an emphasis on jaywalking while apparently turning a blind eye to the growing problem of werewolf mischief, which has spawned grassroots campaigns like de Blasio: Soft on Werewolves.
“Damn you, de Blasio. Damn you to Hell. I hope someday a werewolf will steal your fine writing instrument. Then you’ll feel my pain.”