Christmas Full Moon Wreaks Havoc On Werewolf Social Calendars

Chicago, IL – This week, lycan blogs were abuzz with hysteria about how 2015’s Christmas Full Moon would wreak havoc on werewolf social calendars. And those fears proved all too true.

Most years, werewolves can separate the festivities of Christmas from their monthly full moon “extracurricular activities,” but this year, those two worlds collided.

“There’s so much to do on Christmas… wrapping gifts, making eggnog, etc. It was a major hassle to have to interrupt things and make excuses for why I had to leave the family dinner early,” vented a werewolf from Chicago.

“It really changes the tone of the day when you suddenly up and eat a few dinner guests. Don’t think Emily Post would approve.”

Other werewolves had similar gripes.

“My brother Hank and I are always in a race for who can show the least self-discipline on eating holiday leftovers, but this morning when I got from my full moon prowl, guess what? The refrigerator was barren, but for a can of that nasty-ass cranberry sauce. How rude.”

“Full Moon Christmas sucks.”

But the full moon suck effect impacted another holiday too.

‘Happy Bloated Boxing Day’

“I find pacing myself with holiday gluttony is always a challenge,” complained Frank, a werewolf based in British Columbia. “Having to do the turkey dinner thing during the day and then the, um, not-turkey dinner thing because of the full moon left me feeling bloated and gassy this morning.”

“Now, my Boxing Day is screwed. Thanks, Christmas Full Moon.”