Cupertino, California – Werewolves are howling over yet another slap in the face from Apple.
Last year, the Cupertino-based company disappointed techie lycanthropes by not launching the rumored werewolf-friendly iPhone 6W. Now, a few days after Apple acknowledged that arm tattoos can interfere with the functionality of the Apple Watch, the Lycans In Tech blog has discovered a new, related issue affecting werewolves with arm tattoos.
Werewolf techies who also have arm tattoos report that, within minutes of putting on their new Apple Watch, the smartwatch begins displaying ‘very judgmental and hurtful’ messages about their body art, then attempting to schedule appointments for tattoo removal or an eye exam.
“I mean, what the Hell? How could Apple not have tested that?” wrote one irate blogger. “I get enough shit from my Mom about my Thor arm tattoos. I don’t need my expensive new smartwatch suggesting I need to cope with self-esteem issues instead of resorting to superhero tattoos.”
Initial tests show that the combination of ink pigment and werewolf body hair causes interference with the Apple Watch sensors, triggering a rarely used ‘taste assessment algorithm’ in the smartwatch’s code.
Apple had no official comment, other than a brief statement saying, “We at Apple love all of our customers, even the hairy ones with dubious taste.”