Koh Samui, Thailand – In a surprising turn of events, prison officials in Koh Samui released werewolf and retired used car salesman Lawrence Brand, 57, of Shreveport after more than a week in jail.
Brand was being held for what police described as “lewd and bizarre acts involving yoga, body hair, and the full moon.”
Tourists in the area told our WereWatchers Asia staff reporter that shortly after 10 p.m. last Monday, they heard a man yelling loudly that he intended to show the world the first “downward-facing-werewolf” pose. Shortly after, though, Mr. Brand’s plans went awry.
“A very, very, very hairy man attempted an aggressive yoga pose that was apparently beyond his abilities, and, to put it mildly, his back said ‘no,'” a police spokesman explained. “Seeing that wailing fur ball rolling through the sand and surf freaked out the tourists and seemed pretty humiliating. We had to do something. At least in jail he couldn’t embarrass or hurt himself.”
But He Could Hurt Them
As to why the police decided to release Mr. Brand, the local police chief explained, “Frankly, he was just too annoying. My staff were all threatening to quit. After seven long days of coping with his never-ending sales pitches on the virtues of hot yoga, the guards took action.”
In what appears to be a first for the Thai prison system, the jail guards pooled their money together to bail Mr. Brand out of jail and send him home.
“It was better for everybody. We made him promise to never ever come to a yoga retreat in Thailand again. We told him to try somewhere else closer, like Mexico.”