Los Angeles, California – For werewolf music fans, last night’s 2015 MTV Video Music Awards made for a very disorienting evening after things turned ugly between heroes Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus.
First, perennial werewolf favorite bad-boy Kanye West announced that he was almost kinda sorta sorry for upstaging Taylor Swift a few years back, and that he planned to run for President of the United States. Then, Justin Bieber proceeded to levitate over the crowd and engage in an extended on-stage cry-party.
As one Twitter post described it mid-show:
Too much non-dysfunctional behavior! ‘Bout to throw up. @mtv #VMA
Eternal Question: What Would Miley Do?
Yet there remained two rays of hope for — Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj — models in misbehavior and otherwise out-of-control antics for werewolves everywhere.
“At first, I took comfort in seeing Miley Cirus dressed up as the Ex Machina robot’s bimbo android cousin. She knew how to take a lapse in fashion judgment and really own it,” one music fan explained to a WereWatchers reporter after the show.
“I always assumed that I could love both Nicki and Miley equally, whom I could aspire to emulate. And I never, ever thought I would be forced to choose between them. That all changed when Ms. Minaj got on stage…”
A few days prior to the show, VMA host Cyrus made critical comments about Minaj during a New York Times interview following a spat between Minaj and Taylor Swift. Accepting the award for Best Hip Hop Video, Minaj closed her speech with a challenge to Ms. Cyrus, who she described as “this bitch who had a lot to say about me last week in the press.”
After which the lycan Twitter-verse exploded, with werewolf music fans forced to take sides between their two goddesses of mischief.
“I’ll always owe something to Miley for showing me the power of twerking, but I gotta go with Nicki on this one,” said one fan in a post. “She’s got the mean factor. And as a werewolf, that has to come first.”
“Nicki is no slouch in terms of egregious misconduct, but any fashion-forward werewolf worth their salt will have to join team Miley,” said another post. “Whenever I’m at a loss on picking an outfit that is sure to alienate everyone around me, I just stop and ask myself one key question…”
“What would Miley wear?”
And Survey Says…
Our initial WereWatchers survey shows werewolves evenly split between the two stars, with 41.5% “pro-Nicki” and 40.2% “pro-Miley.” The remaining 18.3% responded “it’s just too painful to choose between them.”
Neither of the two celebrities’ representatives could be reached for comment…Well, comments that we could print.
However, the newly-formed-human Kanye West make a related proclamation to fans:
“When I’m King, er, I mean, President, I’m gonna make sure all the music artist out there learn to love each other. And avoid standing up on stage during other artist’s acceptance speeches.”