New York, NY – Inquiring werewolf minds have answered the burning question many have been asking, will presidential candidate Donald Trump divorce wife Melania and marry Russian President Vladimir Putin? According to a recent survey by werewolf gossip magazine National Were-quirer, 4 in 5 werewolves think The Donald will dump Melania for Vladimir.
The speculation arose after Trump unleashed a steady stream of adoration for the Russian President Vladimir Putin in speech after speech. When asked what is behind Trump’s encomium-fest, over 80% of readers said it had nothing to do with geopolitics, or the random thoughts of a megalomaniac.
No, it was about love.
Ultimate Power Couple?
“The signs are all there of an impending break-up. Just listen to the guy,” says National Were-quirer editor Dick Nenton, “He’s always ‘Vladimir this. Vladimir that.’ I would tell him to get a room, but that would be silly given the guy supposedly owns a billion hotels.
“It all makes perfect sense. Trump loves strength and authority. Of course he would gravitate to the quintessential authoritarian strongman. So what if one lives in New York and the other lives in Moscow,” Nenton told WereWatchers.
“They even have their own private jets. They could be the ultimate power couple.”
When readers asked if they would think less of Trump for shacking up with Vladimir, given his less than happy relationship with the West, most seemed to support the union.
“Readers of a high-end, fancy-pants publication like WereWatchers just can’t understand. Trump is an inspiration to werewolves everywhere; if he run for president, maybe we can too. So we want him to be happy,” a werewolf Trump supporter told us.
When asked if the Russian President’s track record bothered him, he put it all in perspective:
“Sure, Putin may be a ruthless tyrant bent on the destruction of the United States. But he does have exquisite back hair.”