Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – On Wednesday, IOC scientists deemed Rio toilet water is safe to drink for werewolf tourists attending the 2016 Olympic Games. The report encouraged vacationing werewolves to drink Rio de Janeiro toilet water “in moderation” and obtain the majority of their water from “more normal, less disgusting sources.”
As WereWatchers reported during the 2014 World Cup, werewolves have had rocky experiences at sports events in Brazil. So as they arrived from around the globe at Rio’s airport, they expressed relief over the news.
“For werewolves, it’s all about hydration, hydration, hydration. This hair doesn’t get to look this fabulous on its own,” explained Helmut, a werewolf from Stuttgart.
“And there’s no shame in topping off your daily H2O intake from the good ol’ WC.”
“With all the talk about water safety problems in Rio, my were-buddies and I were facing a stark choice between dying from superbacteria or dying from hair-shame,” a werewolf from Argentina told WereWatchers.”
“But thank God the wise souls in Lula and Dilma’s government focused on infrastructure that really matters for the Rio Games. When we get to our hotel, we will toast them… with toilet water.”