Chicago, IL – Hair-conscious werewolves were on the defensive Wednesday morning after news broke of a werewolf getting his head stuck in a bathroom hand dryer at Chicago O’Hare Airport. According to police sources, Evan Gisburg, a werewolf from Peoria, was in transit to a fashion shoot in New York on Tuesday night when the incident occurred.
Gisburg told authorities that he went to the men’s room at O’Hare to do a “mid-trip re-style” on his hair, and after the requisite hair wash in the bathroom sink, he realized that he had put his own hair dryer in his checked bags.
“I realized that it was either use the Dyson to dry my precious locks, or risk Epic Hair Fail upon arrival in New York,” he explained to authorities. “It was an emergency.”
So Mr. Gisburg proceeded to insert his head into the Dyson to dry his hair, at which point it became lodged.
“Some people say that Dyson guy’s a genius, but I think not… How could he forget to put a release switch inside the dryer for when you get your head stuck in it? Moron.”
Airport police closed the terminal during the 3 1/2 hours it took to remove Gisburg’s head from the dryer.
“Honestly, it wasn’t for safety reasons,” an airport spokesman told WereWatchers, “It was because that werewolf’s damn high-pitched was annoying everyone to High Hell.”