Havana, Cuba – As Pope Francis made his way around Cuba and prepared to travel to the U.S., there was only one question on every Catholic werewolf’s mind:
Will the Pope forgive werewolves for all their bad behavior?
“That’d be a big, fat no,” one Vatican spokesman told WereWatchers last week.
“From slobbering in the holy water to spending their whole confession time talking about their hair problems, we’ve had it up to hear with Were-Catholics (the Church term for Catholic lycanthropes).”
“I’m Just A Pope. Not A Superhero”
Given Pope Francis history of forgiving groups previously shun by the Catholic Church, werewolves had held out hope despite such proclamations.
That is, until today, when a WereWatchers reporter asked Pope Francis the big question. After a long pause, the Pope sighed before responding:
“I considered forgiving those wayward souls. Then, after hearing their idiotic questions like ‘Hey, Pope, why are you Canonizing all the time. Nikons are perfectly good cameras too…’ for the thousandth time, I have had enough. I try to be a pretty chill Pope. But werewolves just take stupidity to a whole new level.”
“I’m just a Pope. Not some superhero named Captain Forgiveness. I’ve got limits too, damn it…. Wait, er, strike that last part.”