“ok glass, diss werewolves”
Mountain View, California – With the public sale of Google Glass on Tuesday and talk of some models even selling out, a stunned silence fell over the werewolf community, upon realizing that, yet again, the tech world had ignored their specific needs.
“I was flabbergasted,” emailed one of a WereWatchers readers. “So yeah, it’s true that a lot of werewolves are on the old-school side when it comes to new technology, but think about it, where could we put the gadgets when we’re prowling? Yeah, disgusting, right?”
“But Google Glass is different. Making that lycan-friendly is a total no-brainer. Have one of those things on your head while hunting on a full moon, and you could half your town and still be home in time for David Letterman.”
One Silicon Valley Lycans In Tech Meetup Member who was in the early Google Explorer program vented to WereWatchers: “Everything was fine and dandy during the day, I was able to find every java joint on Sand Hill Road and take photos of hotties in the Marketing Department during meetings, etc., but when you transform on a full moon, and your voice gets all growly, Google Glass sucks Google Ass, IMO.”
“When I asked it to find a pet store with a good selection of fur brushes open after 11 p.m., it was like I was speaking Lithuanian. It took me all the way Paso Robles.”
The WereWatchers tech desk combed through the Google Glass API for signs of functionality that would be were-friendly and came up empty-handed. But once the word gets out that the tech giant dropped the ball, maybe the shame will make them rethink their strategy and open their arms to the tech community.
Reason for Despair, or Hope?
As one WereWatchers reader put it poigniantly:
“There was a time when I admired Google founder Sergey Brin. And not just because of his lupine facial hair. I thought he was a tech visionary with an open mind. But when I realized that was all wishful thinking, I had only one question on my mind…”
“Et tu, Sergey? Et tu?”
Though we would remind readers of a ray of hope, LycanedIn, LinkedIn’s new professional network geared toward werewolves, are in beta trials. If that succeeds, every lycan could be saying “ok glass, find prey, over 300 lbs” before you know it.