Blood Moon is on its way. And sure enough, there’s been a lot of superstitious gab gab online the last few days about what it symbolizes.
But werewolves don’t have time for superstition. They have something else on their mind: the pervasive impression that transforming during a Blood Moon results in one’s were-hair turning a distinct blood orange color.
We’re here to assure you: this is mostly not true.
Yes, there have been a few cases of lycans going out for a night on the town and passing by a mirror or reflective store window only to see a, well, very orange version of their were-self.
“It’s totally embarrassing,” says Peter B., a werewolf from West Hollywood, California. “Last Blood Moon, I was out stalking, doing my thing, and I decided to bust up a fashion show after-party. I jump in the middle of their makeshift runway, expecting a bunch of waifs screaming their brains out at me. Instead, I get a whole lot of rail-thin hotties pointing and laughing and making lame references to traffic cones. It’s like, I don’t just hate you because you’re beautiful, ladies. You’re plain cold.”
Another report we received was from an Irish lycan living in Manchester, England. Conchobhar B. told a more hurtful tale: “Being an Irish lycan living in England, you have to take a lot of shit from the English werewolves. Okay, you don’t get as much as the few American lycans dumb enough to live down in London, with all the ‘hey, loved your movie, blah blah,’ but those guys are kind of asking for it if you ask me.”
Conchobhar continued, “Anyway, last Blood Moon, I go out to do my thing. My mates and I planned to meet up for a pint afterward. When I got to the pub and they saw my bright red-orange fur, which I myself hadn’t even noticed I was so busy hunting down an surprisingly fast obese bus driver, I was shocked to get all the ‘look who’s Irish’ all…night…long. Grief. Werewolves just don’t know when to stop.”
But our Science Desk assures us, these experiences are not the norm. The color of the moon, be it blood-colored, purple, blue, or otherwise, should have no effect on the color of your were-hair.
“Generally,” Dr. Adam Cucker, of the Institute of American Lycnathropy explained, “it’s all about what’s in your genes. Blond people make blond werewolves, brunette people make brunette werewolves, and so on.”
And if that lovely blood moon does affect your follicles’ color tone, it’s usually temporary.
“Within a month or two your hair is back to its normal color, except in 30-40% of cases,” Cucker explained.
And if you find there is a little orange tinge that lingers, that’s what were-hair dye is for. Even the eternal power of the moon cannot overcome the awesome force of toxic coloring agents, Cucker assures us.
So in conclusion, don’t let the Blood Moon turn you into a were-sissy. This Blood Moon, like always, go out there and have some fun.