Dear WereWatchers Dating,
I’m a food blogger in Seoul who has been dating a werewolf named Ji-hoon since March. He’s a nice enough guy and a foodie like me, but I’m worried it’s not going to work out.
Yeah, every once in a while he’ll take me to some extra-weird Korean movie, like Moebius, which honestly took adventurous eating a bit too far in my book, but that’s not the issue.
The problem is that he’s getting in my business. Literally.
Here’s the situation:
Whevever we go out to a new restaurant, I have a solemn duty to my followers to take photos of everything that hits the table. No matter how much those jerks sitting around us complain about “being blinded by repeated bright flashes from my camera” blah blah blah.
He’s never complained about that, for which I give him a respectable 4 out of 5 stars for. But he gets 0 out of 5 for what he does while I’m taking the photo: whenever I’m taking a photo of a dish, inevitably he puts his snout near the food and starts sniffing away. And half the photo ends up being his goddamn were-nose.
No surprise, there isn’t an Instagram filter for “Remove Large Werewolf Nose” so I have to try to Photoshop him out of pix that I post. Which totally sucks. And when I try to discuss the problem with him, he tells me I’m being self-centered. Aigo!
Does Ji-hoon gotta go to the dating doghouse (so to speak)?
Mad About Mandoo
WEREWATCHERS DATING RESPONSE:
Dear Mad About Mandoo,
Now you know why WereWatchers stopped doing restaurant reviews!
It’s in his nature though. You see, lycanthropes are deeply sensitive beings, who have a condition known as hyperosmia, which is a profoundly heightened sense of smell. So when you smell good eatin’, he smells it 1,000% more.
And whenever we do a food survey of our lycan readership, KBBQ comes out at or near the top of our annual “Favorite Were-Meals” list, probably making it impossible for him not to dig his schnoz in there.
So ask yourself: is it really fair to dump a perfectly nice werewolf just because of a little nasal photo intrusion? Especially when he is just being who he is.
Consider this Esquire article and think about it; not every guy is going to put up with having every single morsel he eats documented for culinary posterity.
We think you should give him a chance.
Some suggestions that might help:
- Turn Lemons Into Lemonade – Make the “wolf snout in the shot” look become a signature for your blog?
- Team Work – How about letting him add a second opinion, from the lycanthrope perspective, to each review?
- Get Pavlovian On His Ass – Ask him to wear a werewolf shock collar*
We wish you and Ji-hoon many more happy meals together!
Love ya! Mean it!
*We have recommended this before to other readers, and think it has worked. Though when we followed up with them we never got a response for some reason.