Cannes, France – The Cannes Film Festival has struggled for years to gain la légitimité ultime – the ultimate legitimacy – in cinema circles – that is, credibility among werewolf film critics.
“I wasn’t such a Cannes hater back when I assumed the name was pronounced canis just like ‘dog’ in Latin, but when I learned the truth that the name was just a jerky French trick, I was like no thank you, Can Film Festival,” a top lycan film critic told WereWatchers. “I’ll take Screamfest any day of the week.”
Described as Let the Right One In meets Carrie meets intense Danish people, the film tells the harrowing story of a werewolf living in an isolated fishing village who discovers that it is also a 16-year-old girl. As always seems to happen in these situations, the lycan lifestyle philistine locals get agro on her.
The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive so far, earning 4 1/2 out of 5 full moons among lycanthrope cinema critics.
“I was unable to attend the festival,” a werewolf cinema studies professor told us, “in part because they forgot to send me an invitation but mostly because of a dental appointment, so I haven’t seen the movie. But to put it in film criticism terms, that shit looks good.”
“Hell, if being in a foreign language isn’t scary enough, this movie looks like it’s got serious werewolves in trouble action. If they release it on a full moon and have a midnight show, we’re talking box office bonanza, definitely.”
As for whether the Cannes Film Festival has achieved “the ultimate legitimacy” that they have craved for 67 long, dark years, the jury still appears to be out.
“Well if the 2015 film festival line-up includes WOLF COP sequel,” one critic told us, “Then, maybe.”
As the organizers in France can tell you, werewolves are a tough crowd, indeed.